Do you know what you should avoid discussing or talking about on the first date? These conversation topics may jeopardize your chances of making it to the second date, so bear them in mind and avoid them unless really necessary!
1) Your past relationships
Sharing the intimate details of your past relationships will prove a bit too much to digest for your first date. If you have emotional baggage resulting from your past relationships or marriage, the conversation may become really awkward if you start lamenting about how bad your ex is or how much you detest him. Your current date may get the wrong idea that you are on the rebound, or you are looking for someone just to spite your ex. It also shows that you are still not able to let go of the past and move on to the present.
2) Marriage and commitment issues
Discussing about marriage on the first date is a huge turn-off for men, unless he is one of the rare ones who are ready to get married anytime. It simply puts a label on you that say “single and desperately looking”. If your date is not ready for commitment and marriage, I guess that will be the last you will see of him. Even discussing about how beautiful and touching your cousin’s wedding last month is a no-no. You may not mean anything more than that, but he may think that you are urgently looking forward to your own wedding.
3) Financial matters
It is inappropriate to ask about your date’s financial particulars, especially details like his current salary, his mortgage or his credit limit, etc. These numbers are considered personal information and there is no need for you to find out, until many dates later. I’m sure you do not wish to reveal your private numbers (pun intended) like your weight, your chest-waist-hip ratio, etc, on the first date right? Always put yourself in his shoes and see if you will be comfortable answering those questions before even asking. Do not attempt to intrude in his personal zone too early.
4) Serious topics like religion or current affairs
If you can keep it to a brief and casual discussion, it is alright. But if both of you are equally persistent in your differing views, the date may end on a serious and unpleasant note. I’m sure your date would not want to go a second date with you as the first has already left a bad taste in his mouth! Pick light-hearted topics to talk about instead and you will not have to worry about treading on land-mines that may explode any moment throughout your date.
5) Sex-related topics
Never, ever tell a man on a first date of how you view sex or how many boyfriends you have slept with. Some people enjoy listening, but very often most do not feel comfortable with it. On the first date, you should give each other a chance to get to know each other in other ways and sex should not be the priority. Put yourself in the same position. If the guy you date tells you his favourite love-making position or fetish on the first date, how would you feel? Most people will be turned off as it is not necessary to know such stuff to such detail, especially if you are almost like strangers to each other. Leave it to a time when both of you have reached another level of connection and intimacy to discuss.
Of course, the topics above can’t be avoided forever, especially when both of you wish to take the relationship further. It is part and parcel of the stages of discovering each other, so let nature take its own course and talk about these later when the chance arises.
There is no need to find out so much on the first date as first dates are more about first impressions. If you think you have just thrown out your chances of advancing to the second date, is it necessary to even find out so much on the first?
Well, I wish you success in your first date!
How To Prevent First Date Conversation Disasters - What You Can Avoid Talking About
Posted by Bobby Hamasaki at 16:23 Labels: Love + Dating, Tips For Women
Stress is inevitable. However, there are ways to minimize its grip on your life, starting with your diet.
Most of us recognize that certain foods have brutal effects on the brain -- for productivity, mood and mental energy. Too much chocolate can leave you dragging after the sugar and caffeine jolts fade away. An overdose of salty chips dehydrates the body and the brain, bringing on fatigue. High-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high.
The problem is that these are precisely the foods we reach for at exactly the wrong times, as they exacerbate tension from work and daily life just when we seek relief.
The Food and Mood Project, a nutrition research group in the U.K., identified "food stressors" and "food supporters" -- foods that exacerbate stress from the inside and those that help people under stress. The lists were drawn on the basis of personal experience among 200 people surveyed.
Nearly 90 percent of those surveyed reported that their mental health had improved significantly with changes in diet they had made on their own.
Participants reported that cutting down or avoiding "food stressors" like sugar (80 percent), caffeine (79 percent), alcohol (55 percent) and chocolate (53 percent) had the most impact on mental health. So did having more "food supporters" like water (80 percent), vegetables (78 percent), fruit (72 percent) and oil-rich fish (52 percent).
The survey also found some dietary strategies particularly helpful in encouraging a healthful diet, like eating regular meals, carrying nutritious snacks and planning meals in advance.
"Despite evidence suggesting that dietary and nutritional interventions can provide symptom relief and benefits to health, these approaches remain alternative or complementary," says Amanda Geary, a nutritional therapist with the Food and Mood Project, which advocates dietary changes to boost mood before turning to medication.
Nevertheless, quality research now underway to seriously tackle how the foods we consume affect our internal chemistry. We already know that stress hormones like cortisol actually rob the body of vitamins, hijacking them to support such classic stress responses as the tensing of muscles and the rise of blood pressure, reactions fundamental to the fight-or-flight response.
Thus, at times when we're experiencing the nervous-system workout of anxiety, we are in special need of B vitamins, which help maintain our nerves and brain cells. B vitamins also used up in converting food into energy for the body.
It's a double whammy for the body if calories consumed during stressful times don't come from nutritious foods, as they'll then be depleted even more quickly. Even a slight vitamin B deficiency -- say, from a few days of overloading on chips and soda -- upsets the nervous system and compounds stress, according to Elizabeth Somer, R.D., a nutritionist in Salem, Ore.
A better bet at trying times: bananas, fish, baked potatoes, avocados, chicken and dark green leafy veggies. All are loaded with B vitamins.
Extreme stress can create even more nutritional havoc. The "fight or flight" effect on our bodies is drastic. Some 1,400 chemical changes occur as stress hormones sap the body of important nutrients, such as B vitamins, vitamin C, vitamin A and magnesium.
The hormones released in response to stress can cause carbohydrate cravings by lowering levels of serotonin, the calming hormone. Increasing carbohydrate intake can strengthen tolerance to stress by boosting levels of serotonin, says Somer, but it can also cause weight gain and overeating, particularly of sugary foods.
When the pressure is on, it's difficult not to turn to junk food for solace. But sticking to highly nutritious, low-fat, low-sugar, and low-caffeine diet will be its own reward.
How To Know If He Is Serious About You
Posted by Bobby Hamasaki at 15:56 Labels: Love + Dating, Tips For Women10 signs that say he is serious about you!
1) He seeks your opinion in everything from minor decisions to major ones
It could be something as simple as buying a tie to match his shirt. Or major ones like what car he should buy. It shows that he values your opinions and thinks that you have great judgement and insight as well.
2) He wants you to meet his family, friends and everybody else
He is serious in making you part of his social circle and does not see you as just another casual date when he wants you to meet his family.
3) He spends a lot of time together with you
If he is not genuinely interested in you, would he spend time with you rather than go for his favourite soccer match with his buddies
4) He does not show signs that he is terrified when you mention something happening in a year or two
It shows that he is serious about the relationship he has with you. He can see himself being with you even two years later.
5) He calls you many times a day, but does not admit he misses you
When he calls you, he may find an excuse to do so, like asking you what you are doing currently, finding out what you have eaten for dinner, but never saying the words “I miss hearing your voice, that’s why I called”.
6) He remembers your favourite food and brings it to you by surprise
You probably casually mentioned that you love the brownie from that café only once, but he remembered and brought it to you without you asking for it. If he is not serious about you, would he have remembered what you say to such detail?
7) He lets you choose the restaurants you want to go and the movies you want to watch
Even if he does not like spicy stuff, but you love curry to bits, he will accompany you and even treat you to a meal at a nice Indian restaurant. How sweet can it get? If he does not treat you seriously, why would he bother to cater to you?
8) He can’t wait to tell you what happened in the day
Every night he updates you with how he spent his day, without you asking first. He finds it a joy sharing these intimate details with you. When he hears a new joke, he can’t wait to call you immediately and make you laugh.
9) He is willing to share details of his finances with you
The topic of finances can be quite sensitive and is usually not something that is openly shared, even with friends. If he is willing to tell you, he probably treats you more than a casual friend!
10) He rushes to your side upon hearing that you are sick
Even if it is really late at night and he has an important meeting the next morning, he is willing to come and bring you to the doctor. Only a guy who is serious about you will be that worried!
Well, if you find all these signs all too familiar, it is most likely true that he is serious about you and your relationship. Although he may not have said the three magic words to you yet and have not officially asked you to be his gal, you can be quite assured that he really cares about you. If you like him as well, you can be sure that it will be reciprocated. Just don’t take too long to admit how you both feel about each other!
There will always be critics and,
People that doubt you in life.
It's not what'said about you that
Affects your life but what you say and believe about yourself.
Has the opinions of other people caused you to water down your dreams?
One of the most important things you can learn is that other people don't have to believe in you in order for your dreams to come to pass.
Other people don't set the limits for, your life - you do.
In Romans 3:3 the Apostle Paul is saying It doesn't matter if other people don't believe.
Their unbelief is not going to keep me from believing in my dreams.
When God puts a promise in your heart it's not up to other people to bring it to pass it's up to you'
You don't need everyone to validate you.
You have to follow the voice of God for yourself and allow Him to order you steps.
God sees the hidden treasures that you've had buried on the inside, of you.
He wants to bring those treasures out, and make your dreams Reality'
As you get rid of old defeated thoughts and replace them with what God says about you, you will
Remove the limits and live abundant life God has in store for you.
Whatever your age, you want to give your best friend something really special for his or her birthday to show that you appreciate their friendship. Sometimes we feel at a loss because we think that they have everything they could possibly want or use. Not so! There's always something that will have a special meaning because you gave it. Here are some best friend birthday gift ideas that you may have never considered before.
1. For the wine lover : A gift of wine is an excellent expression of how you feel. Now, at many wine online merchants, you can have wine bottles personalized to show how much you care. It doesn't matter whether this is your friend's first time experiencing the wonders of the fruit of the vine, or if he is a serious collector with a large wine cellar. Or, consider a personalized engraved bottle of champagne and toasting glasses.
2. For the art lover : Looking for something unusual for those folks who have everything? Instead of jumping in the car and heading for the mall, keep your computer powered up and let your fingers do the shopping at the online stores of American museums and other sites that specialize in replicas of ancient and modern art.
3. For the environmentalist : Eco-friendly doesn't have to mean drab. There are many, many products that are made from recycled materials of all kind – beer cans that have been made into mugs, tumblers made from recycled glass, sets of bamboo plates, etc. There are many online sites featuring wonderful gifts made from recycled things. Just browse through them and you'll come up with some great best friend birthday gift ideas!
4. For the book lover : Buy a gift-card from your local bookstore (or online merchant) and make your own bookmark so your friend will never forget your thoughtfulness. Get on your computer and type up your favorite poem or memorable song lyrics, add some graphics and get it laminated at most office-supply stores. Every time your friend opens a book, he or she will remember you with a smile.
5. For the music lover : Here's one that will top the list of best friend birthday gift ideas:
Make up a CD of #1 songs from the year they were born up to now — you can even theme it: #1 Disco Songs, #1 Heavy Metal Songs, etc. Add in a gift certificate to an online music-downloading site, and they're sure to do a little dance!
6. For the nurturer : Who doesn't deserve a day at the spa? Purchase a sturdy cosmetic bag and add all the fixings for a do-it-yourself spa — hand cream, body lotion, scented oils, face mask, manicure set. Make a relaxing CD to put inside and top it off with a gift certificate at the local spa for a massage on you!
7. For the person who never has any time to herself : Create your own coupon booklet offering your services to help out the one that's always been there for you. Include "a day of gardening", "baby-sit the kids", "clean the house" and "organize the closets". Use your imagination and fit the coupons to the needs of your friend. This thoughtful gesture will be considered by the recipient as one of the best friend birthday gift ideas ever!
8. For the sentimentalist : Look back into your photo albums and take copies of all your memories over the years. Create a "Memory Lane" scrapbook highlighting your friendship and events you've attended together. As an added touch, get other friends to write special birthday messages throughout the book.
9. For the nature-lover : Make a day of it and go for a hike at your nearest conservation area; bring along a blanket and a picnic basket and you're set an afternoon of fun and reminiscing.
10. For the golfer : Reserve a tee time at a country club that's hard to get into and make a foursome of it by inviting a couple of friends. Start the birthday off right and treat them to a special breakfast at their favorite restaurant.
11. For the movie buff : Get a year's free subscription to Netflix so they'll be able to have DVD's delivered right to their door. All they'll have to do is supply their own popcorn. Or, you can do that too by ordering (online, of course) a selection of premium gourmet popcorn.
12. For the animal lover : Forget about getting a gift designed for your friend; instead get a gift for their pet. There are many fantastic things available online for all types of pets—from jeweled dog collars to fancy bird cages and everything in between. If your friend really loves his or her pet, this could quite possibly rank at the very top of the best friend birthday gift ideas. Of course, you could get your friend a super duper pooper scooper to make the job of cleaning up after Fido much easier. This, too, you can find at the many online sites featuring pet supplies.
13. For the saver : Buy a share of an up and coming stock in your friend's name. You never know—maybe in a few years you'll be getting thanks for starting someone on the road to their first million!
14. For the philanthropist : Donate to their favorite cause in their name. In this time of need for so many, this is a gift that truly will be appreciated by all those who care for humanity and/or nature.
15. For the sports fan : Buy a pair of tickets to a local sporting event in your area (perhaps when your friend's favorite team is playing) and spend an afternoon or evening together.
At 23, Michael Fred Phelps has become an international sporting sensation. The young American swimmer has smashed seven world records and won eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics, the first athlete ever to secure first place so many times at a single Olympics Games. Given his success, it's easy to slot Phelps into the 'born achievers' category -- at 23, he's established a glorious career doing what he loves best, he's a millionaire, a world record-holder and the pride of his nation.
But hold on a minute -- is Michael Phelps really a born achiever?
He may beg to differ. At the age of seven Phelps, the youngest of three children, was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. For those not familiar with the condition, ADHD is a childhood condition characterised by constant activity, impulsive behaviour and the inability to focus one's attention on anything for a short span of time. ADHD is treated with therapy and medication, but is not classified as curable -- as per information on the website WebMd.com, about 60 percent of afflicted kids carry the condition into adulthood. To help release his pent-up energy and to emulate his older sisters who were also accomplished swimmers, Phelps took up swimming, starting to outshine his peers right from the start.
At the age of nine, Michael's parents divorced. His mother brought up all three children single-handedly, encouraging them to follow their dreams at all costs -- one middle-school teacher even told Michael's mother he would never be a success. But successful Phelps is, and how.
Yes, there are the occasional set-backs. Like the time back in 2004 when Phelps, then 19, was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. He was under the legal drinking age limit of 21 in any case and to top it he was driving in an inebriated state. A repentant Phelps pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 18 months probation, saying in court, "I recognise the seriousness of this mistake. I've learned from this mistake and will continue learning from this mistake for the rest of my life."
So who is Michael Phelps? He was a regular kid who struggled with an irregular condition and the divorce of his parents. He's young, he excels at what he does and like the rest of us, slips up once in a while. And what life lessons do his struggles and successes hold for us?
Deal with your own issues effectively -- Michael certainly dealt with ADHD and his parents' divorce that way. His mother helped him cope up with his condition and channeled his energy into what he loved.
Cut out the drama -- Michael's story is inspirational but at the same time, neither the young man nor his family have exploited their experiences to sensationalise his life. They've told it like it is.
Zero in on your strengths and overcome your weaknesses -- He was less than an average student at school, but Michael was a passionate and dedicated student of his sport. The young swimmer is known to have studied tapes of his races over and over, zeroing in on mistakes and working towards bettering himself constantly. Excellent is still not good enough.
Remain focused on your goals -- At the Athens Olympics back in 2004, Phelps was beaten by teammate Ian Crocker beat in the 100m butterfly. He put up a poster of Crocker in his room to motivate him and keeps a list of his career goals beside his bed.
Pursue what you love with passion and put in a genuine effort -- Phelps' dedication to swimming was apparent back when he was nine and began to break national records in his age group. His commitment to what he does has grown with him.
It's not just his career and his unbelievable performance at the Olympics that classify Phelps as a winner -- it's his story of inspiration that makes him a real champion, a youth icon, somebody to look up to.
An atheist and a believer had the same doctor. Every time they met in the doctor's waiting room, they would argue and end up insulting each other. "You really believe that you are going to be saved on Judgment Day and go up to heaven. Do you really believe everything you read in the Bible, and everything they told you in church?" said the atheist.
"I'm not certain of anything," the believer replied. "Like you, I have doubts. But I still have hope."
"But I don't have doubts," the atheist cried. "I have only certainties. For example, I can assure you that God has nothing to do with the ache in your knee, and that He doesn't care in the least how you feel."
"You don't know what you're talking about. And do you know something? You are a believer too. I can prove it to you."
"Really? That I'd like to see!"
"Will you be straightforward and answer my questions honestly?"
"Of course. I'm an honest atheist."
"Okay. Can you tell me what the name of the doctor is who you came to see?"
"Well no, he's not here. And I can't pronounce the replacement's name."
"Well, when you leave his office, will you check the prescription he gives you for mistakes, like you would a lottery ticket?"
"No, of course not. The doctor knows what he's doing."
"Are you a close friend of the pharmacist who is going to fill the prescription? "
"No, I go to a big pharmacy, and I rarely get served by the same person."
"Do you know what medication the doctor is going to give you, and what its side effects are?"
"No."
"And yet you are going to take it, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Well, dear friend, I am happy to announce that you too are a man of faith!"
Moral :
Many of us behave like the atheist: we don't understand how believers can have blind faith in their God, and we often find their fervor ridiculous. And yet, we also have well established beliefs, and not only when we go to see the doctor!
Think about it: without faith, without any certainties, life would be impossible. We sometimes have to have blind faith to survive.
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